


Grasping Thorns

by Delirioustarot



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Poetic, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29530062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delirioustarot/pseuds/Delirioustarot
Summary: Some Technoboo angst because we need more of it xoxo
Relationships: Ranboo/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	Grasping Thorns

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so happy everyone's loved my fluff pieces so far, so here's some angst :D Thank you all for the overwhelming love! Please enjoy my poetic nonsense I call a writing style xoxo

Ranboo was never certain of anything in life. Even when it came to himself he never knew what he was or what his morals were. Memories could not be relied on, this he was aware of. Fade in and out of consciousness, mixing dreams with reality until they blend in the worst ways. However, despite the fact he cannot remember what happened last week, or even yesterday, he can remember the precise color of Techno’s eyes.

The autumn aesthetic shades of hazel that held his gaze for hours at a time. The feel of his skin repeats in Ranboo’s mind over and over again, every smooth crease and curve. Gods have pity, how he’s repeated his lover’s voice and humming tones in his head over and over. Mentally tracing his smile and feeling his heart race above him. Ranboo cannot trust himself to remember anything, but for some reason he remembers every part of Technoblade. Maybe that was why he could never escape him.

It isn't to say his lover isn’t sweet. No, it makes honey and sugar, bitter in comparison. But it sours so, as tainted tears constantly flow. Blunt his words are as a knifing wound in Ranboo’s chest, he weeps in sorrows as our relationship blooms in the ender hybrids distress. But Ranboo will never tell a soul, far too enchanted by the romance that grows. Techno traces the checkered frame with such silken vigor, but a simple phrase muttered is a loaded gun. And he willingly pulls the trigger. Admit, Ranboo must, he is far too fragile in regards to such. Bite my tongue in hushed hue, fearing if he retaliates it's his love he'll lose.

He would let Techno take whatever he wanted from him. Ranboo would build himself the way he wanted him to be. He won't be a person, only being his perfect toy. Pulling strings and making the younger act how he wanted. An actor in a scene, Ranboo swears he'll play the part. Too scared of losing, too far fallen, so close to his partner. The lessons he learned from a masked man we’re too influencing to ever forget.

His lover's attention is like smooth syrup. Ranboo takes it by the spoonful to make the haze of the world a better place. The copper from his crimson lips taints his tastes, but a busted bubble saves a teary face. His panic room is lit by weeping blockades and the lights he twists around his neck. He’s spent the last days screaming into a voided place. Wondering: ‘Technoblade, do you think your heart finally has some space?’ Another’s name is on his tongue more than Ranboo’s own. He cannot recall the last time his lover regarded him with the same interest. Sometimes he lets his mind drift and wonders if Dream would’ve kept interest in him. The thought alone makes Ranboo’s blood run cold. 

Time ticks as his heart aches more than his stomach, he’s refused to eat for the past few days. Techno’s mouth is drunk is another's bodily praise, and Ranboo’s listened to it so much he’s taken it for a learning page. Pretty smile he’s complimented so much the ender hybrid found enough strength to fake, after all he’s no use sad. He’d only be a mistake. Technoblade tells him he loves him, but to his heart Ranboo’s name is a flimsy label there. He entered with permission but is nothing except a careless tourist here. Bruises covering wrists and legs, did everyone really think he was that clumsy everyday? 

Blades and shears are not only tools. Sometimes he wonders if drinking in the water he drowns himself in is self harm too. He loves too hard. He loves too much. Ranboo fell in an instant and could not muster the strength to get up. His life is a fragile line and without Techno, he would take a pair of scissors to it and paint his future bleak and blurred. 

Silken hands tremble when he answers Techno’s call. He hates to ignore him, but the panic sets in at a terrible drone. The elder jokes around about matters the other takes too close. Do not play puppets with things Ranboo cares about the most. Passive. Too passive he bites his tongue numb to prevent a fight he refused to win. Who is he to argue a friendship with a man who's relationship with Techno was years long enough. The blonde calls Ranboo a child, anger boils in his chest. Was he still a child when he was dragged into a war? Or a child when his lover laid him to bed? 

Ranboo loves the way Techno leans into his soft touch, but cannot stand the way he compares him to the other man so much. He is afraid he’s become obsessed. Techo’s bewitching autumn eyes, he’d come to the piglins every beck and call. He’s a crybaby to matters soft and harsh. Ranboo is addicted to his taste and Techno will forever have his heart. He can treat him so poorly, and Techno knows this is true. It doesn't matter, because Ranboo won't stop loving him.


End file.
